Therapy for Narcissistic Abuse

in Pasadena & Palm Desert and all of California Online

Do You Feel Trapped In A Narcissistic Relationship?

Are you in a relationship where shame, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness are present? Do you find yourself:

People-pleasing constantly?
Excessively apologizing to your partner?
Worrying that you’re going crazy?
Socializing less and less?

Maybe you’ve tried to resolve your relationship issues countless times, only for the same arguments to play out over and over again. Perhaps you have a history of relationships with partners who are adversarial or controlling. If you’re looking to break out of this pattern, then it may help to see a therapist who specializes in working with people involved in these types of relationships.

Unhealthy (Narcissistic) Relationships Often Seem Deceptively Happy On The Surface

One of the telltale signs of an unhealthy/narcissistic relationship is that when things are going well, they’re going extremely well—you’re being wined and dined, treated like royalty and feel showered with love and affection. But these peaks don’t last long, often giving way to cruel words, cold shoulders, the silent treatment, gaslighting, and other forms of emotional manipulation.

Once you are stuck in this cycle of highs and lows, it’s hard to get out. You crave the highs, and thus, you excuse, justify, minimize and tolerate your partner’s unhealthy/abusive behavior. You resign yourself to the “breadcrumbs” of love they give you, telling yourself that peace and harmony is right around the corner.

If this sounds anything like the relationship you’re in, then you’ve come to the right place.

Whether you’re currently in the thick of an unhealthy/narcissistic relationship, contemplating leaving one, or processing the trauma of a relationship that already ended, I am here for you. I will provide a space for you to talk about your relationship without fear of shame, offering the validation and tools you need to break toxic cycles and mitigate the impact of abuse.

Have a Question or Want to Schedule a Session, Reach Out!

If You’re In A Narcissistic Relationship, You’re Not Alone

No one is immune—narcissistic relationships can happen to anyone regardless of race, class, gender, sexual orientation or background. Signs of a narcissistic partner can include:

Controlling behavior
Lack of accountability
Withholding love
Gaslighting
Lack of respect for boundaries
Shaming
Isolating from friends and family
Financial control

Unfortunately, many of these behaviors have been normalized by our culture. To make matters worse, the law does not protect people from many forms of narcissistic abuse.

Leaving A Narcissistic Relationship Is Easier Said Than Done

Not only are unhealthy narcissistic relationships viewed as normal, but victims and survivors are often shamed and even blamed for the abuser’s actions. When survivors come forward about their experiences, many people respond with comments: “Why didn’t you just leave?,” “What did you do to provoke it?,” and “There are two sides to every story.”

The sad truth is that abusers erode the very confidence their partners need to be able to question the relationship and trust themselves.

Additionally, there are many cases when leaving a narcissistic relationship just isn’t realistic—such as in cases when there’s financial insecurity, religious or cultural taboos, or children. All of these factors will be taken into account in therapy, ensuring that you are met with compassion and validation and provided with tools to make the decision that is right for you.

Therapy Can Empower You To Heal From Narcissistic Abuse

As the survivor of a narcissistic relationship myself, I’m here to tell you that it is possible to heal and grow beyond unhealthy/narcissistic relationships even as you remain in the relationship itself. There are steps you can take to empower yourself and bolster your confidence that are significant, healthy, and empowering.

Therapy is a chance to put those steps into action. Together, we can focus on:

Rebuilding self-trust
Restoring nervous system safety
Reclaiming identity
Integrating grief and anger without shame
Processing difficult memories
Gaining new communication skills

One of the most important aspects of healing from narcissistic abuse is feeling validated. I’m here to listen to your story, helping you understand your feelings and supporting you in your search for peace and confidence.

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What To Expect In Counseling For Narcissistic Abuse

As I often tell my clients, there’s a logic to every madness—there are clear and precise definitions for the actions of an adversarial/narcissistic person. During our sessions, we’ll focus on unpacking behaviors that are confusing and painful. You’ll learn what constitutes narcissism and the forms of emotional manipulation that characterize a narcissistic relationship, such as gaslighting, withholding love, triangulation, love bombing, guilt tripping, etc.

Therapy will allow you to create a conceptual framework for understanding the power-and-control dynamics of unhealthy/toxic relationships. With this in mind, we can shift our attention toward helping you self-advocate, self-regulate, and diminish the effects of abuse.

Throughout our work together, I will draw from a series of evidence-based, trauma-informed approaches, including:

Narrative Therapy to help you strengthen your sense of identity and view your story in an empowering light.
Internal Family Systems (IFS), or Parts Work, to identify the different parts of you that advocate for competing ways of addressing your relationship issues (for example, parts of you who want to stay in the relationship and parts that want to leave)
Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) to help you recognize the cognitive distortions and negative self-beliefs (such as “It’s all my fault”) that perpetuate toxic cycles in a relationship

Additionally, there is often significant grief work that needs to be done in therapy for narcissistic abuse. Part of the healing process is realizing that the relationship you once thought you had is not the one you have. And while coming to that place of acceptance is hard, it’s also freeing—enabling you to disarm narcissistic abuse, reclaim your power, and get started on the road to recovery.

You May Have Some Questions About Therapy For Narcissistic Abuse…

What if my partner finds out that I saw you and retaliates?

Therapy is 100-percent confidential, so you do not need to share anything that we talk about in sessions. Oftentimes, abusers will use attending therapy as a weapon against their partners, which is why, when necessary, we will create a safety plan for you. Also, if you don’t have a private space for sessions, I’m more than happy to explore in-person options for you.

Are you going to tell me to leave my relationship?

There are many situations where leaving just isn’t feasible or desirable. In therapy, I will work toward equipping you with tools and insights for understanding and mitigating narcissistic abuse, ensuring that you find healing and empowerment regardless of what you decide for your relationship.

What if I already left my relationship and simply want help processing it?

Then my services are for you! Unpacking the impact of a narcissistic relationship is hard, even after it’s over. My role is to shed light on the dynamics of toxic cycles and what you can do differently so that you don’t find yourself back in a relationship that’s built on fear and control.

It’s Time To Take Back Your Power

When I was in a narcissistic relationship, there was very little language around narcissism and its effects on people. Today, we have the benefit of newfound social awareness and new developments in the psychology of relationships. The signs, symptoms, and behaviors of narcissistic abuse have become more widely known, allowing people to find healing and empowerment who might not have in the past.

If you want to see a counselor who specializes in mitigating the effects of narcissistic abuse, I encourage you to connect with me via the contact page and schedule a free 15-minute phone consultation.

Offering virtual and in-person therapy services to survivors of narcissistic abuse in Palm Desert and Pasadena, California.

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